So this is my second attempt of writing for the Punctual Football Fan. The first non-punctual piece was a pearler. Unfortunately it met a grisly demise thanks to Microsoft Word not saving properly. From memory I talked about all manner of things ranging from the quality of Transperth’s Sunday bus timetable to lettuce in a cevapi and whether that contravenes the rules of cevapi. I also discussed the pool shark trickery of skimpy waitresses on unsuspecting middle aged bogans, the unusually high Tinder match rate I got in Perth compared to everywhere else and if mentioning Eastern Stater in my profile blurb was the deciding factor and gave an honest appraisal of whether Chicken Treat is trying to copy KFC by introducing bits of fried chicken that are tremendously underfed. Instead you get this humdrum response so my apologies.
The match in question was Round 1 of the Consolidated Energy Amateur League Premier Division featuring Fremantle Croatia versus North Perth United at Len Packham Reserve in Coolbellup. Two things of note, Fremantle Croatia have the same -U- crest as the famous/infamous Sydney United logo of the early 90s. The other, they haven’t fallen for a slave name proudly baring Croatia in their official moniker. I’m not sure if things are more lenient over in the West but that certainly wouldn't wash in FFV leagues. My guess, which is probably wrong, is that because it’s not the NPL or State League, these names are still kosher.
I love visiting new venues and clubs because it’s like a birthday present except you get it every weekend there’s a match. Any time there’s a team which is Croatian-backed you expect the players and fans involved to be passionate. However being a total novice to the Perth scene, and also unaware of the level of each club’s standing, I didn't know if this match would be serious or social soccer. Looking at the Football West pyramid this match would be the equivalent of the WA 4th Division if such a thing existed. Perhaps someone can fill me in but is there promotion and relegation from the Amateur League to the State League or is it a closed shop like the A-League? Semantics aside, I knew my football taste buds would be in for something decent. In fact, the food was the hook for making a trip to the southern suburbs of Perth. Once upon a time it would have been the bus trip as well but I'm so over public transport it’s not funny.
Pretty much the first person I saw at the ground confirmed I was at a Cro team as the guy looked like he would be front and square of the mosh pit at a Thompson concert. However, as it panned out that chap would be the only one who fitted the regular Croatian football stereotype. The next thing I saw was a BBQ full of cevaps. It was beautiful. I even took a photo of that majestic site. And the smell…fantastic! When it was my turn to eat I was quite surprised to see it served in a bun with lettuce and tomato. Now I'm not Master Chef when it comes to cevapi but I still know what the go is. It tasted nice, but lettuce and tomato? Cabbage, yes. Kupus salata (coleslaw for those playing at home), yes. Onions, yes. Chilli flakes, yes! yes! Ajvar, fuck yeah! It still tasted great but it was a controversy that would never die. The Twitter folk who saw the picture and commented gave it a thumbs down. One day I’d like to see a cevapcici league ladder established in Australia where all Balkan football clubs can have their cevapi/kebapi/qebap taste tested and ranked by myself. Anyone willing to fund that please send the Punctual Football Fan an email.
Would like to thank Les for taking the time to write up about his experiences in Perth and to see Fremantle Croatia play. Hopefully we can get him down again soon when his travel and work commitments allow him to grace this fine city of ours.
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Views and opinions expressed in this article represent the guest writer and not of the Punctual Football Fan.
